Before a Fall

Pride comes before a fall, Solomon says, but any fool knows that’s not true.  Take Jesus, for example, or Gump Jaworski, who did a double half gainer  and most of a triple solchow on his last day of working for Gutters ‘R’ Us  (“Gutter Problems? Gutter Call Us!”) when he fell off a company ladder  trying to steal a case of Budweiser tall boys from an open third floor window  of the Riverdale Co-op back in the day, and who would’ve gotten himself  a decent settlement if he’d had any disability insurance to speak of,  but he didn’t.  Come to think of it, it was the case of beer that landed first, just before he did,  right on top of it, breaking every bone in his head, and most every long-necked  bottle inside the case that wasn’t broken already, a feat he took no pride in  whatsoever, nor should he ever, though he bragged sometimes long after the fall  through his ill-fitting, whistling teeth that all the way down he had never let go  of the case. Or take Charley Pride, who sang so easy and let it all go with every song  he ever sang, who never fell at all as far as we know, and deserved all the pride  he ever felt in his life, singing “All I Have to Offer You is Me” the way he did,  even selling more records than Elvis for a while, a thing to be Tennessee proud  of there for sure.  There’s proof for all this from the natural world  if you want  it, and all the animal kingdoms too, the way they say lions come in prides,  but you can’t tell me the last time you’ve seen one of them take a fall,  let alone any pride in it, people laughing and spitting

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