Grids, Glass, and More Glass
I have started thinking of them as spaceships to nowhere. In my city, another one is always on the way; the latest touches down at 213 Bowery this fall. The last to arrive at that address, the SANAA-designed New Museum, was finished in 2007, the year of Obamamania and the iPhone and the first gentle rustling of the Great Recession. Like its predecessor, the new annex is a sleek, politely glowy object. It disrupts the skyline but not too much, making a statement but not too loudly. Designed by Rem Koolhaas and Shohei Shigematsu, it took three years to build, doubles the original floorspace, and cost something like sixty million dollars, or what Manhattan developers now call a “bargain.” The style is the kind still optimistically described as futuristic, though the reopening of a new New in 2025 is a reminder that this future is close to twenty years old, a throwback to a time when smart design and calm authority were still widely believed to be capable of saving the world. The first exhibition on the calendar is titled, too perfectly, “Memories of the Future.”
The timing is always strange with these things. 2025 has been a terrible year for most American museums, the year rivers of cash went dry: millions lost for the Clyfford Still, the Berkeley, the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, and dozens of others, because the National Endowment for the Arts would no longer provide them; and millions more in international tourism, because suddenly nobody wants to fly here and take a Nighthawks selfie. It was the year the National Endowment for the Humanities cut major funding to museums.
This was also the year the White House went snarling after the Smithsonian, and when suited Beltway goons paid the National Gallery a visit to discuss its “legal status.” It was the year an executive order blasted the National Museum of African American History and Culture for encouraging its visitors to learn something about racism, and the year Trump squeezed out the National Portrait Gallery’s director for daring to think that diversity was on the whole not such a bad thing. It was the year hundreds gathered in Washington, D.C., to defend the Smithsonian, chanting, “Hands off our history,” though it was also the year protesters booed the Brooklyn Museum’s latest round of layoffs, and others crowded the lobby of the Whitney to condemn the cancellation of a pro-Palestinian performance, and others danced outside the Museum of Natural History to condemn board members who profit from oil. It was the year climate activists stayed in jail for throwing soup on Van Gogh’s Sunflowers and the name “Warren Kanders” stayed in the Whitney lobby.
Depending on who you talk to, in sum, 2025 was the year museums were the victims or the problem or part of the problem. What is beyond dispute is that 2025 was the year America’s big museums got bigger. Every year is.
The New Museum; the Studio Museum, which reopens this fall in a new three-hundred-million-dollar package by Adjaye Associates and Cooper Robertson; the Frick Gallery, recalled to life after a two-hundred-million-dollar renovation by Selldorf Architects; the Met, seventy million dollars poorer but one twinkly Michael C. Rockefeller wing richer. 2025 is no anomaly. In 2015, the Whitney moved to a new four-hundred-million-dollar Renzo Piano building; in 2019, MoMA reopened after a years-long, block-darkening, four-hundred-fifty-million-dollar expansion, its third in as many decades. COVID paused the growth for a while but did nothing to challenge the trustees’ confidence that growth is good. The rest of the 2020s will add fifty thousand square feet of waterfront property to the Tampa Museum of Art (a little ominous, given the state of the Atlantic, but hopefully Florida knows what it’s doing), a hundred thousand square feet to the Portland Art Museum in Oregon, sixty thousand to the Portland Museum of Art in Maine. Upward and outward they swell: palaces of art covered in endless pricy lifts and implants and transplants, not so different from the kind the sponsors lavish on their own bodies.
If you want a clear x-ray of an era, every triumph and delusion crisply rendered, you can always study its art. In the case of the United States in 2025, however, it might be more revealing to study its art museums. Such anxious, blustery things! By the time a new renovation has hatched, a successor is already pecking through the shell. The final products slant and shift their weight as though aware that there is nothing final about them: not a chance in a society that relishes moving fast and breaking things, including itself.
Is it ungrateful, in Trump Part II Year One, to be skeptical of the art museums that have managed to keep expanding, thanks to billionaire largesse? The American system of private cultural philanthropy has a lot to answer for, but at least it provides some cushion from POTUS 47’s whims. The better question might be: given the rain-or-shine ballooning of these buildings, and the municipal taxes that help make them possible, and the unaffordable restaurants, and the thirty-dollar tickets, and the shady land rights deals, and the write-offs, and the walls covered in donor names so that your eyes start to burn well before you reach the paintings, and the gift shops of deluxe crud, and the gentrifying neighborhoods that make the restaurants look affordable, and the galas — given all this, what, exactly, does museum expansion have to do with art?

The concept of growth, I am not the only one to notice, is having a rough twenty-first century. Blame the housing bubble, the overextended American empire, the mallification of urban centers, the net worth of the plutocracy, the greenhouse gas emissions, or all of them, since they may be symptoms of the same sickness. At least among people without summer houses, growth is reckless, boorish, decadent, cancerous, inherently suspicious; growth is the needle tower that could wipe out homelessness but stays empty fifty-one weeks of the year; growth is the rising tide that exclusively lifts yachts. Even its cooler friend, sustainable development, may only be growth with a better PR agent.
In the midst of this, museum growth seems to enjoy something like the benefit of the clergy. Not always, and not all museums — many journalists have wondered how much of 53rd Street MoMA will swallow before its stomach stops growling — but an expanding American art museum is still innocent until proven guilty, as an Amazon headquarters or a McMansion is not. In the clash between love of art and skepticism of growth, love triumphs. Art museums are sacred spaces where many visitors have the closest thing to a religious experience they will ever feel. What could be wrong with making room for more worship?
Start with the simplest justification for museum expansion: structural necessity. Some of these places are a century old, and nobody can worship if the walls crumble. All big buildings require repairs: ceilings blotch, plumbing and heating fritz. They are the kinds of problems that irk every museum, and, traditionally, they are the kind trustees have no interest in paying to fix. Upkeep is as important as it is unglamorous — no ribbon-snipping ceremony welcomes the new roof tiling, and nobody wants their name on a radiator, though to be fair I did see a named fire escape on a recent visit to MASS MoCA. It is a curious side-effect of tycoon psychology that a museum director may have an easier time scraping together fifty million for a new building than half a million for new toilets: vanity being vanity, unnecessary expansion is one of the shrewdest ways of funding necessary repair.
Who cares about necessity, as long as the results are beautiful? Some of the recent museum growth in New York, where I live, certainly is lovely. The cantilevered staircase that connects the two floors of the Frick has an elegance that doesn’t overpower; the Breccia Aurora marble somehow splits the difference between the flowery Bouchers upstairs and the pale chill of the Reception Hall below, so that transition rivals either destination. I have heard sniggers about the Gilder Center at the Museum of Natural History, but I think its oozy granite interiors are built to last in the most important sense: while other, more self-consciously tasteful buildings are doomed to look more like the 2020s with each passing year, the Gilder will go on looking like itself.
For every triumph, though, there are multiple museum makeovers that inflame my inner Peggy Lee. Is that all there is? I thought this when I visited the new Whitney a decade ago. The design was far from terrible; an outright terrible building would have been so much less perplexing. The eastern façade resembled four or five façades stacked together while their architect, recently dubbed “our Brunelleschi” by one of America’s leading magazines, decided where to put them. The western side, facing the Hudson, resembled a ship with a white sail, if the sail was a hunk of Styrofoam and the ship was sinking. North had lots of exposed pipes that somebody must have found pleasant to look at, and south was so utterly, breathtakingly okay it could only have been the work of a renowned architect dozens of museums deep in his career.
And for everything that goes up in a city this snug, something else must be knocked down. The Frick’s Music Room was one of the most ravishing places in New York before Selldorf’s renovation scrapped it to make way for temporary exhibitions (some excused the act by saying the venue was too small, as though this wasn’t half the charm of the Music Room, not to mention the rest of the building — architectural victim-blaming). In 2014, as an amuse-bouche before its next meal, MoMA chewed up the American Museum of Folk Art, having bought the building and decided that Williams and Tsien’s bronze façade disagreed with its house style of grids, glass, and more glass. That the world’s most influential modern art museum has taken to junking work that stands too far outside the aesthetic norm is a sick joke I will leave hanging.
Who cares about beauty, as long as the results are bigger? At least in press releases, the rationale for museum expansion is fiercely utilitarian: more space equals more wall area, which allows for the display of more art and a greater bang-for-buck for the common museumgoer’s eyeballs; more space also means more floor area and elevators and stairwells, which work together to relieve congestion. All very sensible on paper — funny, though, how the tiny museums that would benefit most from additional acreage cannot afford any and the museums that already own football fields of it seem to get more congested with growth, as any MoMA visitor knows. But only a fraction of the new layout goes to art, and the total amount may go down — at the moment LACMA is wrapping up a new six-hundred-fifty-million-dollar building by Peter Zumthor with ten thousand fewer square feet of galleries.
Even when the new space is bigger and one hundred percent art-devoted, it is unclear why a mega-museum gets intrinsically better with more stuff on the walls. “One cannot enjoy a pure aesthetic sensation,” Kenneth Clark terrifyingly put it, “for longer than one can enjoy the smell of an orange.” The purpose of going to the Met should not be to huff every orange on the tree, nor should it be the Met’s duty to pelt visitors with as much citrus as possible. In point of fact, large museums never come close to displaying everything they own and instead rotate their permanent collections in and out of storage. The Met’s collection includes close to two million works, only about five percent of which fit in the building; for MoMA, the number is somewhere around ten percent; for the Guggenheim, three. Making room for everything will always be a quixotic cause — besides, if given the choice between a shinier museum with marginally more on the walls or an already massive museum that doesn’t cost a family a hundred dollars to visit, which one would our mythic common museumgoer choose?
The question is theoretical, needless to say. One of the tartest ironies of this era of nine-figure art museum philanthropy must be how little of the money reaches the consumer: across America, pay-what-you-can entry has been scaled back to free weekends, free weekends to seasonal free weekdays, and seasonal free weekdays to free parking. With every hundred-million-dollar expansion, free museum admission looks more like a weird twentieth-century fossil. Administrators cite study after study proving that cheaper tickets have no measurable effect on the size of museum audiences, and so — ah, terrible shame! — they might as well charge twenty or thirty dollars. I am less interested in the studies than I am in why free admission is now posed as a question instead of a right, economics be damned. Had the same stern, penny-pinching scrutiny been applied to the hundreds of new wings and annexes of recent years, I wonder how many of them would exist.
Fear not, though: museum expansion is of debatable value to the visitor but of enormous value to somebody else. If there is a central reason why museums keep growing, it may be that the donors like a guarantee that their gifts will remain on permanent display and not be buried in storage — more space, more guarantees. (Philip Guston’s daughter Musa Mayer, for example, made the Met a present of 220 of her father’s works on the condition that at least half be on display at all times.) When done right, philanthropy pets the ego and pads the wallet. There is the psychological reward of knowing your art collection will be ogled long after you are dead, plus the charitable tax deduction, plus all the ancillary ways of pocket-lining. A high-end museum drives up property values, attracts tourists, fills up hotels and department stores, and generally enriches the sort of people who populate museum boards to begin with. Conflicts of interest are, of course, discouraged — why else would it say so in the code of ethics? Gentlemen, I’m shocked, shocked to find that profiteering is going on in here!
Still, reasons only take you so far. Follow utilitarian logic through to the end, usually, and you arrive at some humorless “well . . . because.” Few multi-millionaries and billionaires are famous for the practicality of their wants; probably not even they know why a rising tide delights them so much. Why have America’s museums kept getting bigger, then? To fit a few thousand more artworks next to fifty thousand others, certainly. Fundamentally, though, museums expand because expansion does not need a reason: to the people who make the decisions, it justifies itself, like life or happiness or, for a few hopeless fogeys, art. For a long time now, the signature style of the contemporary art world has been something like real estate aestheticism — growth for growth’s sake.

Even though I’m the other kind of aesthete, my first instinct is to say, let the tycoons do what they want. There are worse things to do with money than burn it, and every million dollars spent on a modern art wing that nobody likes is a million dollars not spent on predatory loan marketing or the reelection of some moussed, drooling climate change denier.
If museum expansion warped buildings and buildings alone, I could laugh it off, but it has a way of warping what’s inside them, too. Make a quick list of the glitteriest art careers of the past twenty years or so, and you find a few genuine talents and a rollcall of mediocrities with a gift for ritzing up the vast gray interiors in which museums increasingly abound: Ai Weiwei, scatterer of porcelain seeds at the Tate Modern; Yayoi Kusama, wallpaperer of the same institution and dozens of others; KAWS, whose giant brown dolls I am doomed to pass every time I find myself in the lobby of the Brooklyn Museum. The first task for these people is to fill up lots and lots of space, and at this they succeed brilliantly, since their work consists of a few simple elements (seeds, dots, dolls) that can babble on to whatever degree is required of them. When museumgoers walk in and ooh at the dots disappearing into the distance, they are oohing at the giant space that hosts them, handsome in its bright new costume. Space is boss, and art does what it says.
The premier filler-upper artist of the decade so far must be Jeffrey Gibson, the MacArthur genius and proud occupant of the American pavilion at last year’s Venice Biennale. With the help of a stable of assistants, he assembles hundreds of thousands of rainbow beads into sculptures, paintings, and costumes, none of which exhibit the slightest grace or facility with color, unless turning on the entire spectrum full blast is your idea of chromatic wizardry. Glance one-eyed at a Gibson and you absorb the whole thing along with most of the others. The best test of this is the impressive forgettability of his work — not long ago I spent a while in POWER FULL BECAUSE WE’RE DIFFERENT, his installation at MASS MoCA. I am still pondering that fire escape, but today I would be hard-pressed to say if this dress was bright yellow or bright blue, if that bit of wall was bright orange or bright pink, or much else beyond the fact that the room was big and everything was bright. But this would seem to be part of what museums love about Gibson, and why at the time of this writing his beads are being slobbered over from sea to shining sea: they dress up anywhere because they don’t say too much of anything. Like Kusama’s dots, there is something superficially innocent about them that gives the most bloated museum hangars a sweet glaze of populism.
Bloat and populism are having spectacular twenty-first centuries. It seems strange that both should be doing so well simultaneously, but here we are. Bloat won economics, while populism seems to have won aesthetics some time ago. (Politics is the usual tug o’ war between them.) Peacocking displays of wealth are so common that our senses have numbed to them, but “elitist” has been one of the filthiest words in the English language for as long as I have spoken it. Nobody gets in trouble for selling out anymore, but the idea of making art that might alienate some of its audience has become vaguely impolite, to the delight of some and the horror of others. (The inevitable Mark Fisher quotation:
“The assault on cultural elitism has gone alongside the aggressive restoration of a material elite.”) Nowhere do bloat and populism clash with such matter-antimatter explosiveness as they do in museums: the new spaceships to nowhere are for everybody, and they are toys and tools for billionaires. The harder they strain to seem down-to-earth, the more bloat they hide.
The art historian András Szántó bottles the bloat and the down-to-earth-ness and the rest of contemporary arts administration culture in The Future of the Museum. A collection of twenty-eight interviews with museum directors, all conducted in the early months of COVID, the book is a quietly amazing compendium of the ways in which art people — but not artists — think about art. I read and reread it like a novel. There are twenty-eight main characters, half men and half women and all fluent in their regional dialects of bureaucratese. (The fungal creep of the word “immersive” in the last decade or so has spared few museum directors.) Their institutions are scattered across fourteen countries in every continent but Antarctica. Together they preside over some seven million objects and an annual budget of nearly a billion dollars. Their average age is forty-nine. Many studied art history in college, though one is an ex-Louis Vuitton executive and another is an ex-child star. Part of the pathos and the comedy of this novel is that nobody is allowed to say what’s really on their mind, but sometimes they are so determined not to say X it is clearly X and nothing else that they are thinking.
The first thing I noticed, reading The Future of the Museum in this bumper year of buildings, was that nobody fesses up to wanting a bigger museum. In hindsight, at least some of these people were speaking to Szántó in between frantically rescheduling the new sculpture wing, yet the subject of expansion goes all but unmentioned for three-hundred seventeen pages — like the dog in the Sherlock Holmes story, it doesn’t bark because it recognizes its master. Instead of growth, museum directors would like to talk about community. It would be impossible for me to overstate how badly they would like to do this. The executive director of the M+ Museum in Hong Kong believes in the importance of community. So does the director of the Garage Museum of Contemporary Art in Moscow. So does everybody — “the term ‘community’ is bandied about too much,” says the director of the Brooklyn Museum after bandying it about too much. Not that anyone can really be anti-community, but the tic-like repetitions suggest a guilty conscience. The more I read the word “community,” the more vividly I pictured a big concrete slab named for a Sackler. And it is strange to see communities praised on page after page with so few mentions of what they are communities of.
To put it another way: this is a book of conversations with twenty-eight of the world’s most educated and powerful arts administrators in which almost nobody speaks with passion, or even much warmth, about art; in which everybody remembers to praise community but nobody rhapsodizes about a painting or a sculpture or a film or a tapestry or a drawing. At times, some of these people seem almost sheepish about managing such flimsy things. One director does speak at length about the value of his museum’s collection, but he is talking about their cash value, which apparently is five billion dollars. (“The conversation about how the liquidity trapped in artworks can be used has been a very unnuanced one.”) In the book’s most touching and depressing moment, the Brooklyn Museum’s director confesses that she wonders if she should have gone into politics instead.
These interviews were conducted in a pandemic year, to be fair, and perhaps it struck Szántó’s subjects as insensitive to extoll Rembrandt in dark times, though it might have struck them that in 2020 some of us needed Rembrandt, who lost his lover to plague, more than ever. Americans consider art “a luxury rather than a necessity,” as the poet and one-time NEA chair Dana Gioia wrote in 1991, well before the pandemic or the dismembering of the NEA. By “Americans,” Gioia meant people who have not chosen to devote their lives to art, but this book made me wonder if some art bureaucrats are hiding the same sneer. If you didn’t believe paintings to be of vital importance during the COVID-19 pandemic, you don’t really believe them to be of vital importance at all.
To understand a tribe, anthropologists say, it is not enough to pay attention to what the tribespeople talk about. Truth lies also in what they are not talking about: all the thoughts they consider too self-evidently absurd to mention. The big unspoken subject in The Future of the Museum, even bigger than museum expansion, is pleasure. Museum directors differ in their attitudes toward retail or political neutrality, but on pleasure, and the possibility that a museum might afford its visitors some, they sing the same silent song. Twenty-eight times Szántó asks what a museum is for, and almost every interviewee replies with something about education or activism or building community — all admirable goals, but lifeless when the central one goes missing. The director of the de Young in San Francisco says in four words what everyone else in this book says in zero: “We are not entertainment.”
His grimness would have amused Alfred Barr, MoMA’s first director, who felt his museum’s purpose was to help people “enjoy, understand, and use the visual arts of our time.” We can imagine what would happen if the art museum directors of the early twenty-first century had to agree on their own definition, though actually we don’t need to imagine anything: in September 2019, the International Council of Museums determined that museums “are participatory and transparent, and work in active partnership with and for diverse communities to collect, preserve, research, interpret, exhibit, and enhance understandings of the world, aiming to contribute to human dignity and social justice, global equity and planetary well-being.” A revised version appeared three years later, with “enjoyment” tossed in at the end like a pack of gum in the checkout line. I have nothing against planetary well-being, and you may quote me as saying so. How bizarre, though, to hold entertainment, one of a handful of things that makes this planet bearable, in such low esteem, like an opera house that proclaims its commitment to justice but forgets to mention music.
The final twist of The Future of the Museum is that it is full of odes to the power of the image, just not the kind of image you would expect museum workers to praise. There are millions of people who will forgo sleep, sex, sun, water, and food to keep staring at screens, and clearly arts administrators have taken envious notice. Things go from bizarre to sinister here: the museum directors of the early twenty-first century look at the red-eyed consumers and the companies selling their own dopamine back to them and think, “How can we be more like that?” “How can we better understand the motivations and intentions of the kinds of experiences that people are seeking through online games,” wonders the director of Singapore Art Museum, “so that we may use these as a way to steer them toward, as well as complement and enhance, the experiences museums can offer?” “This idea of the museum as photo backdrop arrived here early,” adds another director; “We spend a lot of time thinking about how to turn this inexorable urge into something productive.” (Notice he doesn’t say, “Something pleasurable.”) “People love serialized content,” the nuanced liquidity guy opines. “Imagine if museums found a way to have each program build off the previous one, and if we figured out a way to distribute that through digital media in a way that was binge-worthy. That is a digital future I would like to imagine.”
Binges and gamifications and inexorable urges — behold the museum directors’ glorious dream! What disturbs me more is that they claim to be dreaming in our names.

Pleasure, you have surely noticed, is having a spectacular time of late, and a terrible one. Some audiovisual thrill is always available, provided your devices stay charged, but if you have never felt the ache of all this bottomless fun, bully for you. There are whole clinics clotted with people who got such a kick out of online games or porn or other pixelated delights that they no longer feel much of anything; and their undiagnosed kin absent-mindedly run the world. It is telling that the concept of the guilty pleasure has almost disappeared from the culture — now there are only different pleasures for different folks. Neuroscience concurs, cheapening the feeling to a chemical squirt.
Some dour economic principle seems to be at work: mint too much pleasure too fast and it is devalued into the merest itch. As though to keep its stock trading high, meanwhile, fine art gets cashed in the stabler currency of community or duty or self-improvement or self-advancement — “something productive,” as that wise museum director might put it. Hence all the books insisting that the function of great literature is to make us nicer (Céline? Hamsun?); hence all the op-eds my grandfather used to mail me about how a humanities degree could help me get a job at McKinsey.
There is something I have not yet mentioned but should. I get enormous pleasure from art museums, not only the underfunded ones, but also the gray lugs I have been complaining about. And not only the art that hangs in them; I mean also the lines, the selfies, the gross kid-friendly installations in the lobby, the humid elevators of tourists, the tour groups, the wall texts written in something that somewhat resembles English. Of course I also get sick of every one of these things, but I believe that any real love for the exhilarating, exhausting art museum involves some irritation, a healthy mix of because and in spite of that is stronger than because alone. The kind of pleasure I get from museums, I suppose, is the kind I get from communities (we shouldn’t let the art bureaucrats ruin the word), and from art, and from almost anything else that is intrinsically worthwhile.
The question with which I began was not all rhetorical: what does museum expansion have to do with art? Very little, but also everything. Unless you happen to be wealthy enough to buy masterpieces yourself, to experience art means to experience it with a pack of strangers in a shiny new room named after people you couldn’t stand much more than they could stand you. The people who make such places happen seem to think of museumgoers as dopamine junkies, utility maximizers who will of course want to see more things since more things equal more dopamine. You can, if you like, play along with this and try to binge as you might binge on serialized content. You can also slow down, choose a handful of works, and go swimming in them. I recommend option two, not because I have any illusions that it measurably alters the world but because I believe that real pleasure exists outside measurement, and because I believe that real pleasure needs no reason to exist. If you require one, though, might I suggest the satisfaction of not acting like the sheep that art bureaucrats would like us to be? If we need help, we can always consult artists.
The artist Johann Zoffany has been of some help to me, even though I can’t always convince myself that he really existed. His work hangs in the Tate, and the ZOFFANY, JOHANN (1734/5–1810) entry in my edition of The Oxford Companion to Art is respectably long. Still, ask yourself, does this sound like a person or a literary character? Born Johannus Josephus Zauffaly near Frankfurt, he moved to Rome at seventeen and reinvented himself as Zoffani. In his twenties he got himself a court painter gig in Wurzburg, but three years later he ran off to London, leaving his wife behind. In Georgian London, he changed his name to Zoffany, took a mistress whom he passed off as his wife, and befriended the greatest actor of the era, David Garrick. For a while he had the favor of Queen Charlotte, but by the 1780s he was cash-strapped and resolved to sail to India to start again yet again. On the voyage back to England he was shipwrecked on the Andamans and, he claimed, ate a sailor to survive. I have no idea why someone would say this if it weren’t true. I have no idea why someone would say it if it were. Start self-mythologizing as a teenager, I suppose, and you never stop.
“Indifferent artistic merit” is what the Oxford Companion has to say about Zoffany’s work. I’m not so sure myself, and neither, for that matter, is the Oxford Companion, which gives Zoffany’s Tribuna of the Uffizi pride of place on the front cover. I have an odd relationship with this image, having never seen the original at Windsor Castle but glancing at the little ink reproduction most days for the last five or six years. Ordinarily, I would not write about a work of art I had never seen with my own eyes, but given that the Queen instructed Zoffany to travel to Florence in order to paint the most important room in the city’s most important museum, cramming his canvas full of tiny reproductions of works she had never seen with her own eyes, it seems forgivable somehow.
Zoffany spent six years doing the cramming, and it shows: every kind of image and sculpture can be found floating somewhere in this swollen gut of a painting. It is true that museums before the twentieth century displayed art frame-to-frame, but even by this standard the Uffizi that we are shown by Zoffany is a mess — compare it with a calmer gallery interior like Samuel Morse’s Gallery of the Louvre, completed a few decades later, and you see how far Zoffany is overstepping the curatorial rules of his own era, not just ours. More is more, and still not enough. Works that ordinarily hung elsewhere in the Uffizi were rushed into the Tribuna for the Queen’s delight. So were works that ordinarily hung in other museums. There are so many things here that some cannot fit on the walls and need to be carried or dumped on the floor: Rubens’ Consequences of War, a sculpture of baby Hercules, Titian’s Venus of Urbino, an Etruscan urn, a Holbein, a Correggio, a few Raphaels . . .
Charlotte hated it. She had expected a Tribuna overflowing with paintings and sculptures; instead she got one overflowing with paintings, sculptures, and people. These are tourists, in the original sense of the word: educated and wealthy men hitting the last stop on their Grand Tour of the European continent. We can imagine the Queen’s anger at this unsolicited reminder that mere gentlemen had been to the Uffizi and she had to be content with copies. This is a particularly bovine bunch, too — “a flock of traveling boys,” Horace Walpole thought, “and one does not know nor care whom.” Look how they swarm and gawk, sticking their noses and fingers where neither belong. The painter Thomas Patch pokes Titian’s Venus but doesn’t look at it — he is too taken with the homoerotic The Two Wrestlers. Zoffany himself makes an appearance on the painting’s left: he is the one grinning too widely as he holds up Raphael’s Niccolini-Cowper Madonna, to the fascination of everyone around him. Even Pietro Bastianelli, the Uffizi’s curator, seems unenlightened by his daily exposure to the sublime: he’s got his greasy digits on the Titian, too.
But to look at The Tribuna of the Uffizi a quarter of a millennium later is to breathe easier and, dare I say, to believe in art slightly more. If he was anything at all, Zoffany was a skilled copyist. His miniature Rubens preserves the meaty writhe of the original, and, adjusting for superficial things like clothes, he more or less copied the feel of any big museum in the twenty-first century, too. There are few problems with the contemporary art world that were not also problems in the 1770s. Hopeless commercialism? Zoffany added paintings to The Tribuna of the Uffizi because his friend was trying to sell them to George III. Congestion? You can barely scratch your cheek in this room. Distractable tourists? Mr. Patch cannot keep his eyes on a Titian. The cheapening of artworks into lifestyle props? The only reason most of these posh yahoos are here is because the Grand Tour is an experience that they are supposed to collect — a pretty accessory for a life of foxhunting and gout. Art only matters because someone looks. The more renowned the art, the greater the number of clueless lookers, joyless collectors, donors in search of tax breaks, and steroidal museums. It’s the muck that clings to most worthwhile culture. It is not going anywhere, and neither is art.
We are all in the muck, to slightly paraphrase a writer who was serious about pleasure, but some of us are looking at the stars. One of the few figures in The Tribuna of the Uffizi who shows some glimmer of life in his eyes is a young man toward the painting’s left side whom the professors identify as the painter and politician Charles Loraine Smith. He is one of the few people in the scene who is seated, which would seem to mean he intends to be there a while, and he is the only one who is making something — sketching on a little pad — instead of gulping things down. Not his face but his whole body points at an ancient sculpture of Cupid and Psyche, and one imagines him taut with his own fervid staring. A cloud of contagious distractions hangs over his right shoulder, but somehow he is immune: Zoffany and his friends could walk away, but Charles would keep sketching. A grenade could go off and he wouldn’t wince. But the bigger miracle is the boy hunched behind Charles: given the choice between the loud, louche circle and the artist quietly sketching, the boy chooses the artist. He squats, trying to feel whatever pleasure keeps Charles seated — the grenade might not startle him, either. Under the right conditions, attention can be more contagious than distraction.

A Conceptual Trash Heap
In the summer of 1981, the novelist Italo Calvino published an article on the great books in the Roman weekly news magazine
On a warm Monday in June 1965, the Supreme Court declared that married women had the right to use contraceptives. This was a hard-won victory for Estelle Griswold, executive director of the Planned Parenthood League of Connecticut and namesake of the case,
Lately, when I close my eyes at night, my thoughts strangely tunnel back to 2001 and one particular fireman. It was September, I was 22 years old living in New York and the world around me had turned to powder. Not the delightful dander of snow globe souvenirs or storybook Manhattan Christmases, but the dust and the ash, the gray and black debris, of a page in history that was burning even as it was being written.
Shakespeare’s mothers are often nasty. Lady Capulet ignores, then disowns, poor Juliet. Lady Macbeth would kill her child to gain a throne. Though they grieve (Constance in
I am about to flip a coin. Can you predict whether it will be heads or tails?
I
When, later, our adventure has bogged down,